Sunday, May 6, 2012

International Bereaved Mothers Day

Today Tim bought two types of flowers for Sofia and we paid a visit to her on this International Bereaved Mothers Day. There were no gifts, no frills about THIS non-commercial 'holiday'. Just the memories of the children lost. Every time we visit her grave I try to think of her the way I held her just after she was delivered. The thought of her in the ground is almost too much for my mind to handle sometimes. I want to pick her up, to keep her warm, to kiss her face. Her little sister Rose resembles her so much, it's so very bittersweet.

As we placed the flowers in the vase and set a few of Sofia's things on her stone, Tim noticed that right in front of us was a lady bug on a blade of grass. How nice to see a sign from her; the timing was perfect. I didn't have my macro lens on me but I did manage to snap a few pictures.

From Our Rainbow
From Our Rainbow

Sofia, Sam ~ Mommy misses & loves you very, very much. XOXO

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Source of Strength

A friend from Jr. High & High School reached out to me recently and asked if I would mind sharing my story on a blog she was starting for women to share stories of strength. The blog is called "Unite Out Loud". I was touched that she wanted to include my story and of course I jumped at the opportunity to share and spread the awareness.

I hope that it brings comfort and understanding to those who read my story. Comfort to those who might feel alone or have suffered a similar loss and understanding to those who have never experienced one. Click here to read the story she wrote and check out the other stories she has posted. The blog was just started so I'm sure many more stories of strength have yet to be written...

March for Babies 2012

The week leading up to the March of Dimes, March for Babies walk was a tough one. I was tearful every day, missing Sofia. It's hard to believe that it's been so long yet I still feel like it was yesterday that we said good-bye. No matter how many times I replay everything in my mind I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the enormous loss we have suffered.

It was a rainy day for a walk and considering the abnormally warm weather we have been having since January, the cold was a bit unexpected. Last year it was cold & windy. I had hoped for a warmer, sunny day but it was cold & wet. I thought to myself that the rain falling down was fitting with all the tears falling down my cheeks each night. A friend commented on facebook, "You need rain to make a rainbow!". How true that is, and how deep as well...

This year we purchased a sign for Sofia (money goes to March of Dimes). Her sign was one of the last on the walk and we stopped - our whole group huddled around as we took Rose out of her stroller and under the umbrella - and snapped a picture. If it hadn't been pouring we would have attempted our group photo right there. Maybe next time.

From March for Babies 2012

I wanted to get a group photo before the walk when it was only lightly misting but everybody was telling me to do it later. Then "later" it was raining so people left before we ended the walk which was disappointing. We understood though, because it was pretty icky outside. I was just bummed we didn't get a full group photo.  Next year we're doing it first (and it'll probably be bright & sunny at the end of the walk, ha!) Here is most of the group:
From March for Babies 2012

It was nice to go represent Sofia and all the babies struggling or gone too soon. I didn't see Betsy this year but I did see little Olivia's sign. Rose was such a trooper (of course she was probably the most dry out of everyone in our group being inside her warm car seat/stroller & covers). She was her usual smiley self and proudly wore her T-shirt in memory of her big sister.
From March for Babies 2012

The back of our shirts:
From May 1, 2012

We would like to thank everyone who joined us on the walk and to those who donated in memory of our Sofia Rose. It means more to us than I think people realize. There won't be many times in our life where we get to do something for Sofia and this is one way we can honor her and help babies survive in her name.

We've raised $760.00 as of May 1st and would love to raise more. Here is a link to our team page if you would like to  participate.