Just the other day I was listening to my Pandora station and a song by Kenny Chesney came on then I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I had heard it many times before but now it had more meaning to me. With the exception of a few words in the first verse about a smile and laughin' (because I never got to see or hear them from Sofia) this could have been written by me.
I picture myself at 70 years old, sitting in a rocking chair looking out at the mountains and singing this song. I have read countless stories of other women who have lost their babies and they go their entire lives thinking of their lost child. Life goes on, things change, distractions and time ease the pain, more children may bring happiness, but the sadness and longing to hold that baby will never - ever go away.
Who You'd Be Today lyrics
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who'd you be today?
Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
An' I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today?
Today, today, today.
Today, today, today.
[Instrumental Break]
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know I'll see you again some day.
Some day, some day, some day.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who'd you be today?
Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
An' I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today?
Today, today, today.
Today, today, today.
[Instrumental Break]
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know I'll see you again some day.
Some day, some day, some day.
I feel I could have written this song also, I made a slide show of pictures to it for our baby girls furneral.
ReplyDeleteYou've shown Sofia's tribute in such a lovely way. I'm sure you have brought healing to many others who are grieving. It's time for me to move forward, but not forget, because the tears are too much for me to take. I look forward to holding Sofia when I get to heaven.
ReplyDeleteAunt Christine
That song is SO powerful, it makes me cry every time I hear it and to think about what could have been...
ReplyDelete