Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Dream of belly kicks

Last night I had a dream that I was pregnant with Sofia and she was moving around and kicking me.  Oh how I miss that feeling.  We were at my parents house in the backyard walking around and you could see her moving around.  In real life, the last time I visited my parents while pregnant with Sofia I had Tim take photos of me to document week 39.  It was almost like being back there, back when everything was great and I was just waiting to have her within the next two weeks.  It was always a comforting feeling when she would move around.

When my alarm clock woke me up I was upset.  I wanted to fall back to sleep and be with her just a little bit longer.  Tim thinks maybe it was her way of saying hi.  I miss her so much.

Photo taken on week 39 in my parents backyard:

From Slideshow


  1. :( I am so so sorry. You look absolutely beautiful.

  2. I can't believe how great you looked! I was a huge mess late in the game.

    Got your comment about the tests I had run. I couldn't find an e-mail for you, so here is a short version. Feel free to e-mail me if you have any more questions. molly.ebach@gmail.com

    Ok, after Hayes died, I was tested for a bunch of blood clotting disorders (email me if you want a list of the ones they tested for) bc we'd ruled out infections, syndromes, genetic, etc. Basically, the high risk dr I saw after the fact ruled out everything except cord accident and blood clots at that point. My anticardiolipin antibodies came back abnormal, meaning I have a clotting disorder called antiphosphilipid syndrome. We immediately almost rejoiced to have an answer! I would be on heparin when I am pregnant again to prevent a clot. But something still wasn't sitting well with me. Hayes was breech and was in the same position for a while. I'd brought it up to my dr, but she dismissed it everytime, so I didn't worry. Then, he died and when I had my c-section (bc he was breech), they said I had a bicornuate uterus, which seemed to make sense as to why he staying in the same spot. I asked my ob repeatedly if I should see a fertility specialist/reproductive endocrinologist, but she said no. After several months, I decided to go anyway just to make sure he couldn't do anything else for me before we started ttc again. He immediately ran a ton of tests--redid blood work, some cervix tests and wanted to look at my uterus so he did a sonohystoerogram. Long story, but they found out that i did not have a bicornuate uterus, but i did have a septum that held him in that spot that could've contributed to a cord accident (just fyi, there was no visible cord damage, and no part of him was wrapped in cord). We still don't know for sure what happened,but it was either a blood clot or a cord accident. i meet with the re for a follow-up at the end of april after I've healed from my surgery, so i'll speak to him again then about what he thinks after seeing the septum. Please let me know if you have any questions. I would totally recommend seeing an RE--i thought they just helped get people pg, but they do so much more. I could've lost another if i hadn't seen him.

  3. amazing picture, you looked stunning! And I love hearing about Mamas being visited by their babies in their dreams.... Hasn't happened to me yet, I dreamt last night about getting soil for my flower bed, and taking my new fridge in the back of the truck to put the soil in instead... LOL!

  4. You look beautiful pregnant. Your little girl is just gorgeous, I am so very sorry for your loss of sweet Sofia.