I haven't decided on any real New Year's resolutions like losing weight from my pregnancy or not eating as many sweets. I usually don't come up with resolutions and think it would be tough to follow. With that said, this year I do have many hopes & dreams and one of them is just to continue on with our lives and try to be happy even though we struggle daily missing our baby girl.
Another baby loss mom friend of mine, Betsy gave me a great idea and I've decided to give it a try myself. I'm going to do my best at "Project 52". I like the idea of "Project 365" however with our busy lives I don't want to set myself up for failure. The project is to take one photo per week all year (52 weeks) to document the year. Since I have such a love for photos and likely will be taking them anyway, I think this is a fantastic way to document our lives. I think it'll be interesting to look back on and to share with our future children. I'm actually excited about it and I think it'll give me reason to get out and take more photos. Maybe some day I'll try Project 365 but right now I don't know if I have the time for it. I'm glad it's only January and I'm not really behind.
We had a lot of snow fall last night while we were at Holly & Travis's house. Tim's new Jeep got us home safely but it was pretty much like a blizzard out there! There were snow drifts around the Jeep and in our driveway when we got home. This morning I made a comment about Sofia's grave and wondered how snow covered it might be so we decided to venture out and see for ourselves. The roads within the cemetery hadn't even been plowed yet and it was around 11:15 AM. Good thing for SUV's & good tires. When we first approached her grave was almost completely covered. Only a few Christmas decorations stuck up through the snow. We were both in our snow gear and while Tim shoveled a path I cleared off Sofia's stone.
From the road, facing Sofia's grave and to the left there is an area where no babies are yet buried. I decided to make a snow angel for Sofia and wrote in the snow. It was kind of fun to do and since it's a baby section I thought it would be sweet to have something child-like there.
We decided to walk over to the statue that sits in front of the many rows of babies in the "Serenity" section of the cemetery where Sofia is buried. It's an angel holding a baby. Staring at the statue I thought it was a nice feeling to know angels are holding all of our babies. But then I started thinking how I pictured Sofia up in heaven. I'm almost certain she is right there helping the angels - an angel herself - waiting with open arms to welcome the next babies that arrive into heaven.
When we returned home I decided to go out in the backyard with the dogs for some fun in the snow. Maggie just loves playing in the snow. If she were human and could make a list of her top three favorite things to do it would be: 1) Play in snow 2) Play in pool 3) Walks.
A few weeks ago when I created my photography logo I also created a stamp with Sofia's footprints. We were trying to figure out how to sign cards and still include Sofia even though she's not here. I found a company that does custom stamps - you just upload the photo/design and they create it. Now we have the perfect way to include her own "signature".
We continue to have good days and bad days. I'm still trying to figure out how not to be sad at work so I can focus 100%. I think it's just going to take some time and hopefully I don't drive people too crazy in the mean time. Last week Tim said it was hard at the hockey game when he went up for a beer and saw a man walking with his young daughter. Those are the things he had really looked forward to with our baby. He really was excited to BE a Daddy. We both agreed that we were fortunate to have found each other when we were young. We were spared having our hearts broken. Neither of us thought we'd ever have to experience a broken heart in this way. We still talk about her daily and think of her constantly. We both still talk to her as well. Hopefully she can hear us. We love you Sofia Rose. ~Mommy & Daddy
Looks like you had a lot of fun playing in the snow and the stamp, what a beautiful memory of Sofia to hold close to your hearts forever!
ReplyDeleteI am a new follower. My name is Felicia, I too am a BLM- "baby loss mom". (check out my journey at my blog- tanaleedavis.blogspot.com) Your post nearly made me cry. I feel your pain and I know all to well what loss can do to you. I think the project 52 would be good. take care-
ReplyDeleteFelicia
I like the idea of project 52. Project 365 is prolly too much for me b/c life is busy enough already!!
ReplyDeleteI love the snow angel and that beautiful statue of the angel holding a baby. Beautiful!!
The stamp is perfect!! I had stamps done of my daughter Carleigh's hand and foot prints made to actual size. I love that I have them.
Hi again! I LOVE the stamp!! Will you please share the company name? I'd love to order one of Hayes' footprints. That is so special! You can e-mail me at molly.ebach@gmail.com or post it here--whatever is easier. Thanks!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies! I ordered my stamp at www.rubberstamps.net.
ReplyDeleteHolly- that's a nice idea to get the prints in the actual size.
Take care-