Wednesday, December 22, 2010

New Christmas Decorations for Sofia

Today we paid a visit to Sofia's grave. When we arrived to the cemetery there was a funeral interment going on right by one of the entrances. The casket had a large flag draped over it and there was a 21 gun salute. I commented to Tim that those seem to be more emotional than others.

Then as we drove down the road I started looking around at all of the wreaths. To say I was overwhelmed was an understatement. I asked Tim if he thought those were put out by the cemetery or if it was family members of the deceased who brought them. Then as I looked around more I realized it was the latter. I could hardly speak and began to cry. It all kind of hit me - each wreath represented a family mourning a loss just like us. I imagined each wreath as a symbol of the person resting beneath the surface. Imagining that many people buried and all the sorrow that must have been at the cemetery at different periods of time just took over my emotions. Normally when we visit the cemetery we see some flowers here & there and a couple weeks ago we saw a few wreaths attached to stands - some I had picked up and fixed so their loved ones wouldn't get upset to find them on the ground. Since the cemetery doesn't have above ground headstones, it just looks like large fields of grass (until you get up close and look down). Today was amazing - it was almost like these graves appeared out of nowhere.

We drove down to Sofia's grave (Sofia's hilltop as Sarah calls it) and picked up some old flowers and pumpkins that weren't looking very pretty anymore. We had a new red wreath and a Mickey Mouse snow globe for Sofia. I picked the Mickey Mouse one instead of the snowman or santa because I thought she is a little one and had she lived we'd be buying her child-like toys, so she should know who Mickey Mouse is. Tim secured the wreath to the ground, we fixed the flowers that were a bit disheveled, thought about our little girl and cried. I cried until we were halfway home. Sofia is supposed to be here, this week is so hard. I'll put on my happy face for the family get-togethers but on the inside I feel like part of me is dying.

From Somewhere Over The Rainbow
From Somewhere Over The Rainbow

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