It was strange driving in to work the first day. The last time I did that I had Sofia in my belly. It reminded me of all the times I'd keep my hand resting on my belly at the stop lights and how I'd talk to her. It sure is lonely in the car now.
I was a bit nervous going in, not knowing how people would act around me. I was happy to have several people come up and just say hello.
I had to catch myself & stop from crying in the break room. I've walked past a few people in the building who seemed to avoid me when they saw me coming. That could just be in my head; they weren't coworkers, they are people who chatted with me when my belly stuck out ten feet in front of me and would always ask me "when is that baby coming?". I know some people just don't know what to say or how to talk to me. I started thinking about Sofia and wished I could go back to the happy days with her kicking away. It will be nice when I get past all those "first time since" moments.
The second day I received a thoughtful gift from one of our programmers, Cecil. It's an ornament that can also be worn on a necklace. I of course cried when I opened it and cried more when he said it has her actual footprint on it that he pulled from the blog. (Thanks again Cecil if you read this!)
The third day, today, I received a handmade ornament from my friend & former coworker in the cruise dept. (same building), Melissa. It has pink & white for Sofia. (Thanks again Melissa if you read this!)
This morning I got my crying out at home before work. The shower washed away my tears. The dogs were waiting outside the shower when I opened the door. I was consoled by Moose with a big kiss on my nose while Maggie stared at me to ensure I was done crying. So glad to have the animals around!
Then I started writing & singing a song in my head while drying my hair. The words were just coming to me so I jotted them down before I would forget. Maybe some day I'll post it if I finish it.
I am glad it's the weekend after three days of staring at emails, but it is nice to be back at work. I'm sure I'll be right back into the thick of things very soon.