Friday, November 12, 2010

One Month

Has it really been one month since we said good-bye in that hospital room? It doesn't seem possible. I guess the world does keep turning while we mourn our loss. We've already come such a long way in the grieving process. Some days are better than others. I'm pretty sure the sadness will come in waves for years to come.

Today I feel a combination of numbness and peace. Numbness because I don't know how I can cry any more tears for her (but I KNOW I will) and because I still can't believe she's actually gone. It feels like she was taken/kidnapped from us in that hospital and we're just waiting for her to return. There's a physical aching inside wishing she was here. It's a feeling that will never be resolved and I can't stand that.

I also feel a sense of peace when I think of Sofia. She was taken, but not by some evil kidnapper, so we at least know she isn't suffering. She was taken to heaven and I feel like she is around us, trying to comfort us. A few nights ago I woke up in the dark and felt a presence in the room above Tim. I can't explain it but I immediately thought of Sofia and I wasn't scared. It was a peaceful feeling-almost as if she was saying she's OK. Maybe it was all in my head, but maybe it wasn't. I remembered it in the morning and told Tim. I think it made him feel good.

We love you Sofia!

1 comment:

  1. Chills.... Those feelings are powerful ~ and u and sofia had been connected for so long... Those bonds are not easily broken-